*clears throat*

*sings* I waaaaant to kill myseeeeeelf for nooooo particular reaaasooonnnn except mayyybeeee this assignment that i'm doiiiinnnngggggggggggggg. 

Thank you. 

*Is pelted with stones*

Mission accomplished. 

Midnight Memories Review

Okay, this may come as a shock to you all, but I may or may not have listened to the entire One Direction discography in the past one week. I know, I know. It's weird. I'll get over it. I don't even like most of their songs. They are uplifting though. They give me an illusion of happiness. And that feels good.
So I downloaded Midnight Memories (Sorry, boys. Couldn't wait till the actual release) and now I'm going to listen to it and review it in the least biased way possible.

Best Song Ever
Ahaha, this song. Not gonna lie, I know all the words. I also know how to play this. Fun fact. This video though. I'm dancing. Heh. Kay I'll stop. Zayn how do you hit them high notes, man?

Story Of My Life
This song I really dig. The song that got to me. The song that made me convert. This is the song that I had my "I have seen Jesus" moment with.  Here is an acapella version.  

Diana
I heard this came out before the actual album, but didn't listen to it. I like this. It's very pop, though. But still. I kind of don't care. It's a good song.

Midnight Memories
Ooooh, title track. OOOOOO They said "Shhh" instead of shit. Look who's growing up. It's very.... Bryan Adams? My dad might like this song. What.

You and I
Ohh, slow song. Wow I kind of really love this song. WOW. ZAYN. WHAT WAS THAT HIGH NOTE. COULD YOU NOT.

Dont Forget Where You Belong
Dude what is with this album having really good music. Like, me a month ago would love this song too. This album is coming along pretty great. Edit : MCFLY WROTE THIS SONG WTF

Strong
Ayyy pop. It's very Kelly Clarkson. I don't know. It's nice.

Happily
This starts off a lot like the previous one. The chorus is very Mumford and Sons? Or like maybe It's Time by Imagine Dragons? Like there are banjos and clapping and stomping and stuff. I like it. This song should be in a trailer.

Right Now
Starts off very pop, again. It's a very falling in love kind of song. This should also be in a movie. Like during a montage. Or a trailer. Or something. Edit : RYAN TEDDER WROTE THIS SONG WTF

Little Black Dress
What the fuck? Why is this so 90s rock? It's so good. This is the least One Direction song I have ever heard in my life, ever. Wow. Love it.

Through The Dark
Oooooo this sounds so indie folk. It's so good, I'm thinking of giving up on this album. Come on man, ONE bad song. That's all I'm asking.

Something Great
OH COME ON. ANOTHER GOOD ONE???????? FUCKING VIOLINS IN THE BACKGROUND WHILE ZAYN IS SINGING? (Or harry? I can't tell :/) ARE YOU KIDDING ME. Edit : FUCKING GARY LIGHTBODY WROTE THIS SONG WTF

Little White Lies
Ah yes, pop. Old One Direction pop. Thank you. Finally. Not beautiful music. Dancy. Pop. Music. Wtf dubstep. Very I Knew You Were Trouble. Okay the lyrics to this song is putting me off. They're almost like Blurred Lines. I mean, they're not rapey. But yeah. I don't know. "I know you want it" "You want to make rules, but we'll watch them burn tonight" "You say you're a good girl, but I know you would girl" Uhm. It's very catchy and nice, but like, guys. Come on.

Better Than Words
More pop. All I'm going to say.

Why Dont We Go There
Ohhh, very pop rock. It's okay.

Does He Know
Okay old One Direction. Okay can we go back to the better Direction, I miss that. Why did I ask for not nice songs? I deserve this.

Alive
Yes, thank you. Rock. Ish. Cowbells, hahaha. Yo, this reminds me of the Jonas Brothers but it also doesn't. Brilliant song to go out on, though. Oh wait, this isn't the last song. It's a great song, though. This song makes me happy, for some reason

Half A Heart
Last song. Starting out slow. Ah, breakup song. It's a great song. Okay, good song to go out on

Okay, I really enjoyed this album. Started off well, went downhill for a bit in the middle there, but picked up in the end. I give it 4.5 stars out of 5. I only took out 0.5 stars because that pop is expected from a boyband.
Before I go, I will offer my opinions about each of the dudes in the band because I feel like you should know.
Harry - Reminds me wayyy too much of Ed Sheeran for some reason. The way he talks and stuff.
Niall - Hilarious leprechaun.
Liam - Sounds like an actual Disney Prince. But is also pretty chill.
Louis - Abercrombie and Fitch. Or like some other modeling company. Because hot tot tot hot.
Zayn  - Of course I saved the best for last.  My boo. That's all I'm going to say.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go listen to it again.  

An Open Letter To Zayn Malik

Dear Zayn,

First of all

Your band has been making music for a while now, and as someone who doesn't listen to a lot of pop music, I could never get behind it. And since you looked like kids, although all of you are older than me, I let you be. Then you started getting big and I saw your face everywhere and well, it wasn't that appealing. I mean, you looked like this

I thought "what the fuck, why is ANYone even attracted to that, they look like children, stop, you pedophiles". Then I went and listened to your music. Although I personally didn't like it, I admit it was catchy. But your music videos. Oh, god, your music videos. They were so bad. So god damn cheesy. And what was with all that fucking POINTING oh my god. Basically, I didn't like you very much. And the fact that everyone did made me hate you even more.

One thing I did love though was hearing about you. A lot of people may not know this, but I am a pop culture nerd. I LOVE being up to date on celebrities and all that jazz. I wanted to be an entertainment journalist so bad. I still want to be an entertainment journalist. Anyway. I was really interested in the phenomenon known as One Direction. I loved seeing how small decisions you made affected the lives of so many people. It was fascinating. I knew all your names by this time. It still watched your videos and laughed at you, though. And also I made puns about your band's name on a daily basis.

Then you released Little Things. And as soon as I heard Ed Sheeran wrote it, I was down. I listened to it and for the first time I actually listened to your voices. And wow, you guys were good. (With the exception of Niall. Louis wasn't that great either but he was cute-ish so I let it pass). You still looked like children, though so I was like meh. I watched your X Factor auditions, and you had pretty great voices. Voices that would guarantee a solo career. But I figured you'd want to establish a fan base before branching out. understandable.

Then, very recently, Best Song Ever came out. And let me tell you, what. an. effort. That music video, well the beginning at least, was pretty awesome. I mean, wow. All that makeup. And that acting. The song was catchy too. I already wanted to watch the concert movie but now I wanted to watch it even more. I developed an ironic appreciation towards you guys. News broke out that you were engaged and I didn't really care. (Although I was a little surprised you were marrying a white girl. Okay I wasn't.)

This was when I noticed you, Zayn. I think I stumbled across a blog with your face in the sidebar and damn. You looked fine as hell. This left me conflicted. Your band was growing on me, but you??? Why was I suddenly so attracted to you? Then I noticed that your face still had a boyishness to it and decided that I would only bang like a 28 year old version of you. When you looked mature. When you were a man. 

AND THEN GOD FUCKING DAMNIT STUPID FUCKING STORY OF MY LIFE CAME OUT. And that song WAS SO GOOD. Like insanely good. Like indie folk good. Note : I LOVE indie folk. And I loved it. And then, Zayn Malik, and then came the teasers for Story Of My Life. And holy shit. You were hot. Then the music video came out and hot dayum. I was done. So done.  You had facial hair. You had a beard. You didn't look like a child any more. Your jawline looked more defined. You were sexy. You were bangable. I wanted to bang you. I didn't - don't even want to wait till you're 28. Right now, you're good to go. For hours I stared at your pictures trying to figure out where that came from. I watched interviews. I HEARD YOUR FUCKING NORTHERN ACCENT. AND HOW YOU DIDNT WANT TO SEE A FISH STRUGGLE OR SOME BULLSHIT I DONT KNOW YOU SOUNDED ADORABLE SAYING THAT. I had fallen into the hole called One Direction. No, actually, I was clinging to the edge of the hole, not wanting to fall in. I'm still clinging. Seriously though, how does one go from looking like this

To looking like this

Seriously, what the fuck man. 

So today, I was staring at your face, and I realized you're probably kind of stupid. Like why would someone with such a face be smart. It's unrealistic. I would probably not have a proper conversation with you. Or maybe I will. Please be stupid so I don't fall in love with you, okay? Thanks.

So the purpose of this letter is, you're beautiful. You KNOW you're beautiful (Ha reference. I hate myself for making that joke). You make my ovaries feel things. Keep being sexy. Hit me up. 

Yours truly,

Me. 

You know what's fucking pathetic? Having your life revolve around celebrities. Or like, certain one. You get so emotionally invested in someone who doesn't know you even exist. You care about the small things that they do in their life, like get a haircut, or wear a shirt 3 times in a row or some shit. You obsess and fantasize. You hope and pine. You slowly go completely insane. You're your OTP.  You get sad when they get a girlfriend EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVE NEVER MET THEM AND YOU PROBABLY NEVER FUCKING WILL. And that's pathetic. And you need to get a life.
I need to get a life. 

Broken Bad

Let me start by saying Breaking Bad is the best show on television, ever, and it is safe to say nothing will ever live up to the awesomeness of it. Like, you can say the writing on Game of Thrones is great, but it's based on a book. You can say the cinematography on Hannibal is beautiful (I watched like one episode, I thought it was great) but is it better than Breaking Bad? No. You can say the details on Sherlock are pretty accurate, but do they pay enough attention as the makers of Breaking Bad do? No. Breaking Bad is story-telling on television at it's best. There is no doubt about it. It's a show I will tell future generations to watch, and it will live forever in our hearts. There is a Breaking Bad sized hole in my soul and nothing will ever fill it. When I say it's my favorite television show of all time, I mean it in the way I say The Avengers is my favorite superhero movie of all time, and the Harry Potters are my favorite series. It's just...perfect. I honestly don't understand how people can be not into it. If you are reading this, I demand that you get into it.

SPOILERS AHEAD

So the finale. What a finale it was. It was epic in the true sense of the world. I loved the part where Walt's in the gas station, and he takes off his watch and leaves it there, because he knows his time is up.(Or will be up in a few hours). I honestly thought Walt was going to kill the Schwartz's. But when he gave them the money, it all made sense. And although I kind of saw the whole Badger and Skinny Pete thing coming, I still gasped, it still made me laugh a little bit because it was a big joke.
Then Walt sneaks up on Todd and Lydia at the cafe, but we know that he was there earlier, because he puts the ricin in the Stevia. As soon as they zoomed in on her pouring it into her tea, I was like THE RICIN IS IN THERE SHE GON' DIE. I like that when he was building the gun thing in the desert, he was humming Felina, and like how the singer in the song goes back for his lover or something, and he goes back for Jesse. Also, Felina is an anagram of Finale. And Also Fe+Li+Na means Iron+Lithium+Sodium, which signifies Blood, Meth and Tears (Which is a phrase I hope to get tattooed on me someday. Yes, I want the word Meth tattooed on me, okay?) See what I mean about details? I especially loved the scene where he goes back to see his family one last time, and he tells Skyler he "did it for me". And that he was good at it. And he was alive. I could see where he was coming from. As a show driven mostly by lies and pride, it was great that he admitted why did he did what he did.
He then goes to the Nazis, and he aligns the car against the shed thing, and I honestly thought he was doing it as an act of defiance. As a proud person, he finds Jack's weak spot, his pride, and targets it, accusing him of partnering with Jesse. Although Walt's original plan was to bring Jesse in, so he can kill him with the rest of them, seeing him like this, like a slave, held against his will, he decides otherwise and "tackles" him to the ground, and sets the gun robot into motion, and it starts firing. I'm not going to lie, I screamed YEAH BITCH when that happened. When the shooting finally stops, Walt, Jesse, Todd and Jack are alive, but everyone else is dead. And then Jesse chokes Todd with his manacles, and I was so happy I teared up a little bit. Then Walt shoots Jack and blood splatters onto the camera and that was pretty cool, in my opinion. Then there's a bit with Jesse and Walt where Walt asks Jesse to shoot him, but Jesse refuses, and tells him to do it himself if he wants it so much. (Also he notices that Walt is hurt and is bleeding out.) He is finally in control of what he can and cannot do and that's beautiful. As they're both walking out, Todd's phone rings. It's Lydia. How do we know? His ringtone is a song with her name in it. Todd is creepy as hell, okay? Applause for Jesse Plemons for acting. Wow.
So Walt picks up the phone and tells Lydia everyone is dead, and tells her she's going to die, so that's that. Then, just as Jesse's getting into a car, Walt and Jesse look at each other and nod. They know this will be the last time the see each other and they acknowledge that it was a good (well, not really) run. Then Jesse gets in the car, crashes into the chainlink fence and speeds off, crying with happiness. (This is the moment where I started crying because Jesse was finally happy and free and everything was perfect in the world) Walt then makes his way to the meth lab where Jesse has been cooking for all these months and looks at everything and takes in the science. He then falls down and dies with a smile on his face and tears in his eyes, in a place where he felt the most alive he has ever felt; a meth lab, with Baby Blue by Badfinger playing in the background.(which I thought was perfect) It comes full circle. The Great Heisenberg was born in a meth lab, and he dies in a meth lab. (I was still crying, and then the AMC thanks you thing came on and I cried harder)

Basically, that was the most satisfying finale in the history of television and it gave me so much closure. All the loose ends were tied up (well, the ones I cared about). It was beautiful. It was amazing. It was awesome. It was classic Breaking Bad, but also it was happy, which is not very Breaking Bad at all. But still. Wow. I'm going to go watch it again or something. 

Hard

It is so hard.
To pretend like you care about what's going on;
what's being taught, what's being said,
who's joking about what.
To pretend you don't want the earth
to open up and swallow you whole.

It is so hard to pretend to have your shit together
when you're falling apart inside.
To not burst into tears
in a crowded room.

It is so hard to not feel like you're falling.
To close up the gaping hole in your chest.
To not want to curl up in a ball
and sob.

It is so hard to laugh like something amuses you
when you're only doing it to temporarily feel a little better.
To smile like you're glad to be here,
alive,
when you're really not.

It is so hard to open your mouth to say something,
even if it's only one word,
like "Okay" or "Yes" or "No".
To keep a placid expression
so no one knows
that it's taking your all to not throw yourself off the balcony.

It is so hard to not fill up,
with self loathe.
And want to cry out
for help because you
clearly need it.

It is so hard to breathe,
because all your body wants
is to live, even though
your soul doesn't.

It is so hard to stay alive. 

Perfect Life AU

I'm bored. And depressed. And writing this made me feel a lot better. Why am I defending myself. Also, I forgot to mention, Max is Max Irons. Also, this feels like a self insertive fanfiction.

xxxxxxxx

I furiously type away at my laptop. I'm just wrapping up on my latest book. My phone rings. It is my assistant. I pick up. "Yeah, I'm almost done. Stop checking on me every few hours, I'm not procrastinating" I say, answering. "I know, that's not what I'm calling about." she says. "Oh. What is it, then?" I ask. "The movie. Starts shooting next week. Remember that? That thing that is actually happening?" she asks. "Yeah. I remember. What of it?" I'm also producing it. I think to myself. "Tickets to Belfast. I booked them. Shall I email you the details?" she asks. "Yeah. Is that all you're calling about?" I ask her. She's usually more efficient than this. "Yeah. That's it. I'm just excited, okay?" she says. I laugh and say"I am too-" when I hear the door unlock. "Yo listen, I'll talk to you tomorrow, email me the details. Bye" I say and hang up.
I get up to go greet my boyfriend, Max. "Hey babe," I say before I kiss him. "I missed you." he says, mid-kiss. "I missed you too. How was Albuquerque?" I ask. "Desert-like." He says, shrugging. Laughing, I kiss him again. He smells of cologne, spearmint, and cigarettes. "You really have to stop smoking." I say. No matter how much he tries to mask it, I can still tell. "Meh." He shrugs, heads to the kitchen, and opens the fridge. "Why is there nothing here?" He calls. "I was in writer mode. I don't need food when I'm in writer mode." I call back and head back to my laptop. I need to start editing tomorrow. As I start typing again, I feel Max leaning on the back of my chair. "You would think when you've been away for a month, your girlfriend would show a little more love than this." He says and reaches out to close my laptop. "Hey, I was writing!" I say and turn to look at him. He leans in to kiss me, and just as things start getting heated up, the doorbell rings.
"It's me!" A voice with an irish accent says. "Ugh, cockblock." Max mutters, and we continue making out for a few more minutes before we hear more knocks on the door. "I know you're home, open up!" Robert says. Sighing, I open the door. "What do you want, Robbie?" I say. "HI. I wanted to ask Max if he wanted to grab a couple of beers." he replies. "Yes! I do." Max says from across the room. I turn to look at him, exasperated. "Are you sure you're not the one cockblocking yourself?" I ask him. "And plus, aren't you tired?" I add. "Well, yeah, but..." he trails off. "Cockblo-Oh. OH. Ohhh. Oh, shit." I hear Robert say, behind me. "And you," I say to Robert. "You're supposed to be MY best friend, not his." "We did go out a couple of times, when he wasn't here. Don't you have a book to write or something?" he says. "Don't you have a movie to shoot?" I say, imitating his tone. "Nope. Robert Sheehan : Currently Unemployed." he replies with a grin. "You look way too happy for someone who's unemployed." I say. He makes a face at me and asks Max "You comin'?" "Yeah." Max says, grabbing his coat. "Wait." I say to Robbie and close the door on his face. "Okay, then." I hear from the other side of it.
"You just got baaaack. And we were in the mood." I whine to Max. "I know, love. But now you have time to finish your book. Don't worry, I'll be back soon. We'll still be in the mood." He says with his lopsided smile. I realize how much I missed watching him smile; the way one side of his mouth goes up before the other. He leans in and gives me a kiss, but I don't let him go. A few moments later, we hear a frustrated sigh from the other side of the door.I open the door and push Max towards Robbie. "Here. Have him." I say, with mock-annoyance. "See you later" Robbie says to me, as they walk away.
I close the door and head back to the bedroom. I lie on the bed, close my eyes, and sigh. So I'm alone, in this big apartment. So what. Things could've been worse. I am content. 

Home Is Where The Heart Is

So this morning, I was driving to college and I was thinking about life, as you do. I stopped at a traffic signal, and while I was waiting for the light to change to green, I looked around and was struck by the foreignness of it all. But at the same time, it was really familiar. Buses covered in advertisements written in a language that I could read passed by me, yet I couldn't quite register what they were trying to say. A sense of not-belonging just hit me. I have been living in this city all my life. I have been driving to college on the same road for the past two months. But everything seemed so foreign. I knew where all the roads led, but they felt new, and different, and weird.
They say "Home is where the heart is." I do not know where my heart is, but I know it's not here. Will I ever get to where my heart is? Will I ever feel like I belong? Will a place ever not feel foreign to me?  Only time will tell. 

Update

I did a review on Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters but I just re-read it and it's so bad so I'm not publishing it.
Maybe it's because the movie was so bad.
In other news : The Mortal Instruments : City of Bones was amazing. Too amazing to put into words. 

Relationship vocabulary (This is probably not an apt title)

You know what I don't understand? The whole "mine" concept. I'm sitting here listening to Baby Came Home by The Neighbourhood and he says "If you found her, even you would know, she's mine." And like, I don't understand it. She's a person. Not an object. Even songs where girls go "That boy is mine" or "You're mine." No, he's not. No one belongs to anyone. "He is mine and I am his" is what Tris says about Tobias in the Divergent series. No, he's not. Mine/His/Hers is so restrictive. You don't belong to anyone. You don't even belong to your parents, after a certain age. You belong to you.
Another thing I don't get is when people say "He/She completes me." You're not supposed to let someone complete you. You're supposed to complete yourself. You're not supposed to feel incomplete just because you don't have a someone. He's supposed to be an added bonus. He's supposed to be that extra oxygen tank. I don't know what that metaphor was.
I'm saying this now, but I'll probably call my boyfriend "mine" and I'll probably feel like he completes me,when this boyfriend exists. Or not. Probably won't. We'll see. 

People die. And that sucks.

Cory Monteith was found dead in his Vancouver hotel room today. He was a happy guy. Just last week, he was out with his girlfriend Lea Michele. He was smiling. He was laughing. They were going to get married in two weeks. Lea said she wanted to start a family with him. And now he's gone. The love of her life is gone. The Glee fandom has sunk into depression. People who have never met him are crying and are devastated. I don't even watch Glee and it hasn't even sunk in, for me. I can only imagine how they or Lea feels.
I think this just shows how unpredictable life is. One day someone's here. The next, they're gone. It doesn't even matter if you know them or not. Your idols, the people you look up to, are going to die one day. (Yes, people you know in real life will also die but like, let's just talk about celebrities right now, okay?) One day you're going to wake up and go on tumblr, or check the news and you're going to find out that someone you obsessed over at one point of time is dead. Or someone you were or ARE madly in love with is dead. And that day, week, month, half a year, year, the rest of your life is going to suck. It's going to suck so hard. Tom Hiddleston, Max Irons, Henry Cavill, Nick Jonas, Chris Pine, Demi Lovato, Emma Watson, Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Jennifer Lawrence, EVERYONE. Everybody is going to die. That sucks, okay? That sucks a lot. And it shouldn't happen. But it will, eventually. And I hate that. That's horrible.
I need a hug. 

Okay, this is something I just realized. If we're all descendants of Adam and Eve, does that mean we're ALL born out of incest? Because Adam and Eve were considered to be brother and sister. And even if they're not, their kids probably practised incest because they're the only parents in the world, there isn't anyone else's kids to populate the earth with. Also, Adam and Eve were probably black. They were from Africa, so yeah. So where did all the white people come from? Think about it. 

I can't think of a title for this but title-less posts look weird

So I've been depressed since the minute I woke up this morning and I couldn't figure out why and I was talking to a friend about college and I realized that's what's making me so upset. Today was supposed to be the day I went for the Group Discussion Session to this college I really wanted to go to. I was supposed to do well in it and do well in the interview and get in. I was supposed to move to another, way cooler city for 3 years. I was supposed to stay at a hostel and have a cool roomie who liked the same stuff as me. I was supposed to have posters up on my wall. I was supposed to study about cool things like urban legends and UFOs and Greek Philosophy and Creative Writing and Mythology and poetry. I was supposed to find a cool group of friends who liked the same kind of music I do and have well informed discussions about the happenings of fantasy worlds. I was supposed to get my roomie to obsesses over a show and walk in to find her crying about a certain character's death. I was supposed to attend AT LEAST one concert over the course of the next 3 years. I was supposed to find love. Okay maybe not. I was supposed to have actual college experiences. I was supposed to be happy. Instead, I'm stuck here. In the same city I've always been. Going to the same college everyone goes to. Seeing the same people all the time. Studying boring business-y things that I have absolutely no interest in. Living in the same house and with the same people I have been, all my life. Feeling the same feeling I've been feeling for the longest time (hint hint : nothing). And that sucks. 

A Documentation of My Feelings About the "Everything Has Changed" Music Video

I'm sitting here staring at the Taylor Swift-Ed Sheeran music video without pressing play
It's called Everything Has Changed
Fuck it, I'm pressing play
A bus
a little girl
Aww cute ginger kid
They're making something idk
I hear Ed!
Awww the kids are sitting together being cute
I ship it
The kids, I mean.
Aw the ginger kid is playing guitar
Why is that kid reading The Notebook?
Why is that kid getting a tattoo?
ED ED ED AW I LOVE YOU
Okay, Taylor Swift is really skinny, gurl you ok?
I mean I'm skinny too
We're fine, it's okay.
This song's very old-Taylor Swift-like
Not watching/listening to it again.
It's cute though.
Whatever.


SPOILER ALERT : I'm also writing another post on the side, so wow two posts in one day, I'm on a roll. 

Livetweeting Demi Lovato's new album DEMI

And so I did. Two days later.



Okay, I didn't tweet anything about the first four songs. I didn't like any of them. Heart Attack was okay. Neon Lights was very Cobra Starship.

This was when I reached Two Pieces.

(Which is why I livetweeted it)

JEMI FEELS

That one was with some X Factor chick.

A Poem About Math

Why would I care about how long a train would take to cross the station?
Why would I care about how long it takes a man to do his job?
Why would I care about something that tests my patience?
Why would I willingly do something that makes me want to sob?

What is it about math
that makes me feel like crap?
Why would it be a necessity
to test my mathematical ability?

I reminisce the time
when I didn’t have to study this.
Just leave me in my state of bliss,
Don’t make me les mis.

This poem is getting worse
by every stanza.
I’m going to stop
now.

Paramore review

I just downloaded the new Paramore album. I've only listened to the previews before, except for the singles, so this should be fun. It's self titled. Random piece of information.
Let's review this business.

1. Fast In My Car.
What is going on. Alien noises. I wonder who's playing drums on this album. Probably Taylor. I have no idea what genre this song is. Ska? Pop Rock? I don't know. It's nice, though. Sort of.

2. Now
Oh, this was their first single. I hated it when I heard it the first time. Hasn't really grown on me. I won't skip it, though. I like the guitar parts in this one. "If there's a future, we want it now-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow" I don't get it. Okay I'm regretting not skipping it.

3. Grow Up
It's very pop rock/punk. I like pop rock. And punk. Some parts reminds me of Owl City. I have no idea why. It sounds like it's finished but there's still 20 seconds left. Okay that was an outro.

4. Daydreaming
The preview for this sounded great.  Starts off nice. Oooo, I like this. Wait, "Daydreaming into the night"? Lady, you don't daydream at night. Or maybe she means lying awake, dreaming. Okay. I love the part after the bridge, before the chorus. "Dreaming is all I have". Yes, Hayley, me too.

5.Moving On (Interlude)
Oh wow this album has interludes. ooo A ukelele.  Wait is this about Josh and Zac? Ooo burrrn.

6. Aint It Fun
 I hate saying the word funky, but this song is funky. *shudders* Seriously though, there's no other way to describe it. Very bluesey. Ohhhh a chorus. Like a group of people, not a stanza. This song should play in one of those rom-coms when the lead girl lands in New York City and looks around at the buildings and stuff.

7.Part II
Okay I lied. I listened to this this afternoon and loved it. It's basically a part 2 of Let The Flames Begin from Riot, which happens to be one of my favorite Paramore songs.  The chorus comes out of nowhere, it's so great. In Part II I mean. This is the most Paramore-like songs in the entire album, so far. I love the guitar+drum solo after the second verse. Oh god, this song is so beautiful. "If you let me, I will catch fire." I've always said LTFB is the perfect Hunger Games song. And this is the perfect Catching Fire song.

8.Last Hope
 It's slow. It's nice. Ohh, it picks up after a few minutes. I like the lyrics, too. It's very uplifting. It's very good.

9.Still Into You
Oh, this was their second single from the album. Hated this one too. More than Now.  Okay, it's not that bad. It's cute. I'm not a big cute person. Wow I've never gotten this far into the song. Okay, it's over.

10. Anklebiters
Isn't that slang for Kids? What. It sounds like a christmas song, in the beginning. I'm pretty sure she's using the term in the wrong sense here. It's nice-ish. I don't like it that much.

11. Holiday (Interlude)
 More ukelele!

12. Proof
Starts off well. It's okay. Listenable. I haven't HATED any song in this album so far, except Now and Still Into You. Huh.

13. Hate To See Your Heart Break
 Very Slow. It reminds me of Lady Antebellum or someone. Don't hate it, but I probably won't listen to it again."Let the pain remind you that hearts can heal."

14. (One Of Those) Crazy Girls
Isn't there an Avril Lavigne song with the same name? I don't like this one that much. It'll probably grow on me. Oh, wait, it picks up after the first verse. Still very pop. The lyrics are funny, though. Very Overly Attached Girlfriend.

15. I'm Not Angry Anymore (Interlude)
 Ukelelelelele. I like it. Oh my god, you can HEAR her smile at 0:36. It's so cute.

16. Be Alone
So I listened to half of Future before realizing it's not Be Alone. Fuck. Now I'm listening to Be Alone. It's nice. Relatable to us tumblr people who just want someone to stay at home with them.

17. Future
Final song in the album. Also, longest song. Almost 8 minutes.  I really like this. I love part like 3 minutes into the song. After a couple of verses, this song is mostly instrumental. Which I love. Okay, five and half minutes in, it fades out. What now? Okay it's fading back in. Aaand it fades back out. Very good closure to a really good album.



So, overall I give this a 7/10.  It's not very Paramore-like, but great, nonetheless. I was expecting to hate it immensely and never wear my Paramore tshirt, but I'm still proud to own it.  My favorite songs are probably Part II, Daydreaming, Last Hope, Be Alone (maybe, I don't know yet), Future and all the Interludes. It's a good comeback, after Josh and Zac left. Now I can't wait for them to release their own music (It's been 3 years guys, come on.)

Damaged

I have a thing for damaged people. I don't know if it's a "thing" or what, but yeah. People who're fucked up, depressed, people with issues, problems, people who hate this dreadful world we live in interest me. Everyone I meet, I imagine complexly. And by complexly, I mean fucked up-ly. Lets take for example Max Irons Son of Jeremy Irons, Scar from Lion King. He smokes. A lot. Like a fucking chimney. You know why I think that is? Cuz he probably had a fucked up childhood. Or something. Maybe not. He says he had a normal childhood. He might have like a messed up relationship with his dad or something though. Like, his dad was probably never home when he was a kid and when he WAS home, he was sleeping and was just go away kids (Thats what his dad said in an interview okay). Yeah, so. He's probably depressed. He got dumped recently.that bitch He probably doesn't smoke just for fun. He smokes to die. Or not. You never know. It just makes him more attractive to me if he's actually depressed.
Then Ed Sheeran. He's still in love with his ex, everyone knows that. Or was, till very recently. He makes brilliant music and writes amazing lyrics, and come on, we all know the greatest lyrics come from damaged people. Its just how it is. He's probably very depressed too.
Also, funny people are usually depressed on the inside. I read that somewhere. 
Even if the person is probably fine, I'll just assume something's wrong with them. It just makes everyone more tolerable.

I don't know where I'm going with this, I'm just gonna end this here.

Competition

I don't understand why we should be tested for everything. Is it really that important to know where you stand in a group of people? Won't everyone just be happier if no one knew? I want an education, yes. But why should I be forced to compete for the education I'd like to receive? Why should one person be denied what he wants to study just because other people were better at him at doing other stuff on a test? Why can't everyone just do what they like and not be judged by others at how good they are at it? If the person is satisfied and happy with what they're doing and how well they're doing it, they shouldn't be judged and condemned by others for doing it. Also, why do others have to judge us on what we want to do? If you don't like it, don't do it. Don't tell me what I'm doing will get me nowhere because you don't know that. Don't make me feel like crap because you don't approve.
You know what else makes people feel like crap? Competition. When you don't win the competition, you're not good enough. Why do we need instruments that constantly tell people they're not good enough? And when someone doesn't WANT to compete, it's mistaken for not having the capability to compete. Literally, thousands of people compete for the the hundred or so seats offered by colleges. It's like the fucking Hunger Games with no blood. It's brutal. I would actually prefer the Hunger Games to this. At least in the Hunger Games there's adrenaline and death.
And not just exams. Just, basic survival, too. It's been going on since forever. Why can't everyone and everything just co-exist peacefully? I honestly don't get it.
Also, why is the world so fucking populated anyway? I mean, seriously, PARENTS! PROTECTION!
Reason no 23 as to why I never want to have kids. I don't want to contribute to the over population.

I may sound really immature saying all this but I don't know, it's just how I feel.Survival is a race I do not want to run.

I had fully composed blog posts about it being the last day of school and stuff but now I can't remember anything.
I'm going to go try writing fiction.
I shall come back when I remember.

The marks humans leave are too often scars

I haven't written in so long. I hope I remember how to write.
So as I was falling asleep this afternoon, I started thinking about my existence.[and then I fell asleep (How do I remember that? I have no idea)] Why am I alive? I'm not saying this in the depressed, suicidal way that I normally do. I'm saying this in a, y'know, contemplating kind of way, I guess. What is the point of my existence? What is the meaning of life? What is my purpose in this world? What do I have to contribute to it? Is everyone sent to this world to actually do something remarkable, or are only a select few responsible for changing the world? If it is, I want to be one of those people. I don't want to "change the world" or whatever, but I want to do something great. I want to leave a mark. I want people I don't know a few decades later saying, "Oh, yeah, she's great!". "...it's easy enough to win over people you meet. But getting strangers to love you...now,that's the trick." - Gus Waters. And although the point of the book was him learning that the marks you make on the people you know and love is just as amazing and heroic as the ones you make on the world, I still believe in that phrase. I still want that. I'm not saying I want to be famous, or anything. I just want to be recognized. And respected. By a considerable amount of people.
Maybe we don't know what the meaning of life is. Maybe it's too deep for mere mortals like us to understand. But I think the point is to try and figure it out together.

Why do I feel like this post doesn't have a point? Have I forgotten how to write? Because that would suck.